Ashamed
by theresnomeaning
Summary: Severus knows why Harry doesn't want to tell his friends about their relationship. And it hurts. Snarry. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


_**Warnings: **__none, I think, besides spoilers. Compliant with DH except that Severus is alive._

_**Summary: **__Severus knows why Harry doesn't want to tell his friends about their relationship. And it hurts._

**Ashamed**

Severus stared at his reflection on the mirror and sighed.

A year with Harry Potter and the young man refused to tell his friends about their relationship. Oh, Severus knew why he didn't want to tell the Granger girl and the Weasley why he was with him...

And it hurt.

It shouldn't hurt, not after so many years of rejection that he endured throughout his life. But it hurt nonetheless...

Severus knew that Harry was ashamed of him.

Greasy hair, hooked nose, crooked teeth. Those were the reasons for Harry to want to keep their relationship in secrecy. Because he was ugly. Because he had horrible scars on his body...

Then why was Harry with him? Sure, sex was wonderful... But... But Severus wanted something more. It was normal for Harry to not want a more serious relationship, he was young, then why didn't he stay with someone else? Surely Harry could find good sex whenever he wanted... However, Severus couldn't believe that Harry felt something deeper for him.

Harry couldn't love him - like he loved Harry.

He wouldn't be ashamed of Severus if he did.

Was Harry with him out of pity, then? Or because he felt like owed Severus something because of all the years he protected Harry?

Severus laughed bitterly, even if Harry had owed him, he repaid that when he rescued him on the Shrieking Shack and kept him out of Azkaban after the war.

It had to be pity... And Severus hated pity more than any other feeling.

.

Severus stared at Harry. They had just finished dinner, and he was decided to finally make things clear...

"Harry, we need to talk."

Harry gulped audibly and looked at Severus with a fearful gaze.

"Why don't you want to tell your friends about us?"

The younger man began to fidget, visibly unease. He blinked several times, as if trying to shoo away tears.

"So?" Severus insisted.

"It's... Complicated. You would say I'm immature," definitely...

"Try to explain."

Harry sighed and put elbows on the table and burying his head on his hands.

"It's because of shame, isn't it?" Severus blurted out, loosing all his patience. Yes, now five years after the war, without fearing for his life on a daily basis, he was a nicer person, but his patience was still short.

"Yes," Harry admitted quietly.

Severus snorted and shook his head.

"The why are you with me?"

Harry raised his head, his eyes pouring tears, and stared at Severus with immense sorrow - what was confusing...

"Because I love you!" he shouted.

"Who loves doesn't feel ashamed of their beloved!" Severus spat, and Harry flinched at the words.

"I know that! You didn't need to-"

"If you loved me you wouldn't be ashamed of how I look!" Severus barked. How dared the man say that? Harry didn't know what love was, that was the only explanation.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" Harry asked, clearly confused.

"You said yourself that you are too ashamed of assuming you and I - the greasy git, an unattractive man - are together!"

Harry's eyes went ridiculously wide at that.

"That isn't what I said!" he protested.

"I asked if it's because of the shame and you said it was."

Harry sighed and wiped away the tears from his eyes. He got up and walked to be near Severus.

"I love you, I would never, ever be ashamed of you," he said with confidence. "I... I never told Ron and Hermione about us because I think you would be ashamed of me, because I'm not smart like you, I don't understand Potions very well... I thought you wouldn't like everyone knowing that you are with someone so... With a brat who doesn't know anything.

"And if I told my friends about you, they would know... And look at me with pity each time you felt ashamed of me!"

Oh.

That had been... Unexpected.

Severus reached to touch Harry's cheek. How could he believe that? Sure, Harry wasn't the intellectual type like Severus, but he loved the young man just like that.

And Harry loved him...

The young man was looking down at his shoes.

"Harry, I am not ashamed of you. How could you think something like that?"

"Did you tell your friends about me?" Harry retorted.

"I don't have friends..."

"Lucius, Narcissa, Minerva..."

"I didn't tell them because I also feared your rejection," Severus said quietly. "I think, Harry, that we had a serious problem of communication."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. We were both wrong... Just never think those things about yourself again..."

"And you too!" Harry said. "How could you think that I was ashamed of you? You are my love, I don't care about your scars... They are very sexy," he winked "and your hair is beautiful and not greasy at all when you don't stay hours over cauldrons..."

Severus smiled and pulled Harry on his arms and kissed his head.

"And you may not be the intellectual type, but you are the most wonderful person I've ever known, Harry. Besides, I don't want to talk about Potions all the time." Severus felt Harry's smile through his robes.

"Thank Merlin for that!"

"And... I love you, Harry."

They kissed and stood there, embracing each other. Which could had gone terribly bad actually ended with both knowing how each other truly felt...

**~ Fin ~**


End file.
